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以下文章来自

You have just said something wrong。 The other person is looking at you
with a red angry face, but the issue is not about what you‘ve said,
it’s about what they‘ve heard。

30 Surprisingly Difficult Ways to be Extraordinary

你说错话了,对方正怒火中烧的看着你,往往这类问题的关键不是在于你说了什么,而是他们听到的东西。

By Tyler Tervooren 

There are some sentences that act like deadly silent ninjas, killing
self-confidence and antagonizing your friends, family and
colleagues—the worst thing is that you might not even realize it。

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下面这几句话可以看成是致命的沉默忍者,抹杀自信,敌对朋友,家人和同事——最糟糕的的就是你甚至都意识不到。

Life is simple, but living remarkably is not nearly as easy as all of
the“5 Ways to be Successful”articles on the internet make it out to
be. In fact, it’s quite hard and there is no guide you can follow, so
you’re going to have to make your own.

Here are 6 things you should never say to someone:

Of course, that doesn’t mean that someone else’s success isn’t a good
place to start learning. A remarkable life is hard, but it’s worth
working for.

下面这六句话你千万不要对别人说:

I spend most of every day thinking of more ways to step up my game and
take things to another level. To this day, I’ve never come up with an
easy way to do it. That’s okay because, if I did, it probably wouldn’t
be very valuable anyway. No, to be remarkable means to take risks over
and over again on difficult things that might not work. It means
stepping outside the comfort zone that contains most people, and
exposing yourself to danger.

1。 “I don‘t care”

So that’s what I try to do. I don’t always succeed; in fact I fail quite
a lot. Yet, I’ve never been upset that I tried. Here are 30 ideas I’ve
used, all with varying degrees of success. I hope that they can help you
in your journey to lead your own remarkable life.

“我无所谓”

I don’t claim to be extraordinary myself. In fact, I’m pretty sure that
doing so is an immediate disqualification. But, I can say that every day
I try and hopefully get a little bit closer.

What they hear: “Leave me alone。 I have better things to do than
listen to you。”

***

他们听到的是:“别管我,我懒得听你们说,我有更好的事情去做。”

Leverage what you’re already good at…

Explain why you would love to hear about that subject, and why “right
now” is not the best time for you。 Everybody matters。 Not caring about
someone is denying their existence: If people matter for you, you will
matter for them。

Everyone is born with a unique set of talents. Take as much time as you
need to figure out what yours are because they’re the most valuable
tools you’ll have for the rest of your life.

解释一下你对这些其实很感兴趣,只是现在不是最好的时机去倾听。每个人都很重要。不关心别人就是忽视他们的存在感,如果别人在意你,你也需要在意他们。

Take pride in your abilities, and always use your powers for good
instead of evil. Someday, you’ll be remembered for what you did with
them.

2。 “You‘re wrong”

…But fix what needs improving.

“你错了”

It’s common in today’s world to simplyoutsource your
weaknessesto
someone who’s better at them. That can be useful at times, but never
take it for granted.

What they hear: “You are stupid。 You know nothing。 You‘re
worthless。”

Endeavor to become better at the things that hold you back and never
assign part of your life to someone when you don’t fully understand what
they’re doing with it. You’re the one in charge, so make sure you get
what you actually want.

他们听到的是:“你是个笨蛋,你知道什么啊,你简直一文不值”。

Find what only you can give back.

Prefer more tactful sentences。 “I would have thought that…”, “My
understanding is that…” Ask questions to make sure you and the other
person are working on the same assumptions。

At the intersection of all your talents, weaknesses, and perspectives on
the world lies yourultimate gift to
humanity–
the unique thing that the world needs and you’re the only person on
Earth that can give it.

不如换成更加隐晦的句子:“我早就应该想到。。。” “我的理解是。。。”
问问题能保证你和其他人在商榷同一个假设。

If you devote your life to anything, let it be to finding this. It’s
unlikely that you’ll regret it.

3。 “You can‘t do it”

Build a few deep, lasting relationships…

“你做不到的”

You don’t need a lot of them to be happy, but a few incredibly close
friends or relatives – people you can talk to about anything – will make
life a lot easier and more enjoyable to get through.

What they hear: “You don‘t have what it takes to do it, no matter how
hard you try; So why do you even try?”

When things are harder than ever before and you don’t know where to
turn, these are the people that will keep your head on straight. Do
everything you can to help them and you’ll get the same in return.

他们听到的是:“无论你多努力,都没有能力做到,那干嘛还要去尝试呢?”

…But keep as many loose ties as possible.

Why would you set someone up for failure? I understand that you don’t
want your friend to have delusions, and you could feel that it is your
duty to stop that person before they hurt themselves, but I would like
to ask you: how can you judge what is good for somebody? And what if
failure was the best path for growth? Encourage people who have chosen
a challenging path。

It’s just as important to network with as many people as you possibly
can. You can’t have 10,000 best friends, but in today’s digital
world,10,000
acquaintancesthat
keep you motivated, tell you jokes, and help you with the odd problem
you’re having are not that hard to come by.

为什么总把别人和失败绑在一起?我懂你其实不希望你朋友产生幻觉,你觉得阻止他们是你的责任,可以使他们免于受伤,但我还是想问问你:你凭什么替别人去判断事物的好坏?失败难道不是成长最好的途径吗?对那些走在充满挑战道路上的人一丝鼓励吧。

Let people know how you can help them, and you’ll attract plenty of good
company to make life just a little bit better.

4。 “This should be easy”

Improve yourself every day…

“这个应该不难”

Never take a great life for granted and never take a miserable one as a
sign of defeat. Do something, anything, every single day to make
yourself a little bit better than you were yesterday.

What they hear: “It‘s easy for most people。 If you have trouble doing
it, there is probably something wrong about you”

Read a book,sing a
song,meet
someone
new,make
something.
Whatever you do, never stop working to learn more.

他们听到的是:“这对大部分人来说都很简单,如果你觉得难,那就是你有问题了。”

…And help someone else improve every day.

The level of difficulty is perceived differently by everyone, and
everyone has their own Everest。 If you‘re telling somebody that their
job is easy, then you’re undermining their contribution to society and
you’re telling them they don’t deserve the salary they have。

You don’t exist in a bubble, and your community, whatever that means to
you, is only as strong as its weakest member.

难度标准对于每个人而言是不一样的,每个人都有自己珠穆朗玛峰。如果你告诉别人他们的工作很简单,其实无形中你在低估他们对社会的贡献,你就是在告诉他们不配拿到那么高的工资。

Take the time, every single day, to help someone over a hurdle, to learn
something new, or to do something meaningful. Not only will this improve
their life, but it will improve yours and everyone’s around you.

If someone is struggling and coming for help, then they have trust you
enough to show you their weakness。 Don‘t rub their face in it by saying
“This should be easy”。

Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

如果有人遇到问题需要帮助,他们正是因为信任你才会向你展现出自己的弱点。别再说”这不难啊“这样的话啦,跟扇他们耳光没啥区别。

Every person on the planet has their own agenda and you don’t stand a
chance at getting anywhere with yours until you understand theirs.

Acknowledge the challenges that people encounter and value their
commitment to overcome them。

When you feel like you have something to say, wait. Ask yourself if
you’ve taken the time to hear what’s been said to you. By understanding
others, you’ll be far better suited to help them understand you once
it’s your turn.

了解人们面对的挑战,根据他们的能力帮助他们去克服。

Take credit when you do something great…

5。 “I told you so”

Unless you truly want to remain in obscurity, don’t be shy when you do
something worth mentioning. If you create something amazing, stand up
and claim it.

“我早就告诉过你了”

The temporary fear that comes from being in the spotlight will soon
fade, and it’s nothing compared to the glory. You earned it, so don’t
let it pass you by.

What they hear: “You did not listen to me。 That‘s all your fault。 I’m
so much better than you。”

…And give credit where it’s due.

他们听到的是:“你不听我的,都是你的错,我比你优秀多了。”

When someone else creates something amazing, be the first to tell the
world who made it. If you build on someone else’s success, make it clear
who made your work possible.

This one is a common no-no。 It‘s useless to shoot a dead horse,
especially when other person needs your help more than ever。 Don’t keep
tabs on who‘s right and who’s wrong。 If it were a competition, the one
keeping tabs would be the one losing。

By giving praise to the people that have made what you do possible,
you’ll get only respect back. The world has room for as many success
stories as can be told. Always expand the
pie.

这句话真心不要说。马后炮真的一点意义都没有,尤其是别人无比需要你的帮助的时候。不要再去纠结于谁是对的谁是错的。如果有个比赛,那个总是纠结的人绝对是输家。想学习更多英语知识,请关注口袋英语aikoudaiyy

Say you’re sorry when you screw up…

Help the other person, and don‘t add insult to injury。

Nobody gets through life without making mistakes. If you’re lucky,
you’ll only make a few big ones and many small ones.

帮助别人,不要再在别人的伤口上撒盐。

When you screw up and it hurts someone else, say you’re sorry. And don’t
just say it, actually mean it. Take a minute to understand the damage
you’ve done and make sure you convey that you’ve taken it seriously.

6。 “As I just said before…”

…And learn how to forgive.

“就像我之前说过的”

When someone has wronged you, learn how to let it go. Understand that
very few people hurt each other on purpose and even fewer don’t regret
it.

What they hear: “You don‘t listen to me。 You’re making me repeat
myself。 You‘re so annoying and dumb。”

If someone apologizes to you, thank them for it and mean it. If they
don’t, let it go and move on with your life. Nothing makes living more
unbearable than the ongoing feelings of anger and resentment.

他们听到的是:“你不听我的,你让我重复说,多烦人多笨啊。”

Get out and see the world…

This is a very sneaky conversation killer。 If someone asks you a
question and you point out that you‘ve already answered it, then you’re
killing their willingness to learn, or even to have a slight interest
in what you say。

Travel is fatal to xenophobia. The more you see of different people and
different places, the more you realize we’re all the same.

这绝对是对话杀手。如果有人问你问题,你指出已经回答过了,那么其实你已经扼杀了他们想要学习的欲望,甚至是对你话语的一丁点兴趣。

Pick somewhere you’ve never been and make a plan to go there. Don’t
think to hard about it. Don’t try to pick the perfect place. You’ll have
more opportunities to go elsewhere once you get started and frequent
flyer
milesare
abundant. If you need to save, then save. If you need to plan, then
plan. But, by all means, go.

Say the same thing in another way and by illustrating it differently。

…But don’t stay gone too long.

换个方式表达,这样才能与众不同一点。

Life-long travel is an excellent goal, but don’t forget your ties to
home.
As important as it is to learn of new people, places, and things, it’s
just as important to foster your understanding of the place that created
you.

Life is interesting because tiny differences can create completely
different cultures. As you learn of new ones, try not to lose the one
that others will also, someday, want to learn of.

Influence people to make the world better.

You have influence. It may be over just a few people or it may be over
millions; only time will tell. Whether you want it or not, you’ve got
it, and what you do with it will change the course of history forever.

Use your persuasive powers to make the world a better place to live for
everyone. It takes the same amount of effort to do something good as it
does to do something evil, so you may as well work to make things
better.

Do something that scares you every day.

Life was not meant to be lived in completely safety. Do not hide under a
rock when you’ve been called to stand up.Do something meaningful but
uncomfortable with
your time every single day.

If you’re not used to living like this, you won’t change overnight.
However, you can make a huge step in the right direction by taking just
a tiny one today. Find something that makes your heart beat just a
little bit faster and go do it.

Clean up a mess that isn’t yours.

Not everyone will hold the same values that you do. Not everyone will
work to make their own world a better place to live in. Some people will
ignore their duty to others and some will actually try to make it worse.

You can’t change these people, but youcanchange the effect that their
actions have. Picking up someone else’s mess never feels good, but
living with it feels even worse. The next time you see a piece of trash
(literally or figuratively), pick it up.

Stand up to authority.

Just because we’ve always done it this way doesn’t mean that we’re doing
it right. It’s your responsibility to notice when something can be
changed for the better and it’s also your responsibility to make it
happen.

You’ll be met with fear, anger, and even violence from those that keep
things working the way they always have. Don’t be deterred. The whole
world is depending on you.

Take important things seriously…

Don’t screw around when it’s time to work. The only way to get where you
want to be in life is to take what you do seriously and do it as often
as
possible.

If it matters to you, then it’s important. It doesn’t have to mean
something to anyone else. Take what you do seriously, and people will
notice.

…But laugh at them, too.

Take what you do very seriously, but never at the expense of having
fun.
Life is far too short to deprive yourself of enjoyment.

There’s no reason why you can’t take yourself seriously and have a lot
of fun laughing, too. Relax a bit. Work your ass off, but make it a good
time – not just for you, but for everyone around you, too.

Dress the best you can afford.

You shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but everyone does anyway. If
you want to change that, you’ll need to start with a very good cover.

If you want people to pay attention to you, then dress well and speak
like you know what you’re talking about.  There’s a reason we pay more
attention to people in expensive clothes. It’s the easiest way to tell
that someone cares about his or herself.

Once you’ve changed the world, then you can start wearing sweatpants and
stop shaving. Until then, you’re going to need help getting attention.

Take a risk on something you’ll probably lose.

When you make the decision to do something remarkable, theodds are
always stacked against
you.
There’s no way around it, so it’s best to just get used to it.

Don’t be afraid of this. The people who succeed the most in life usually
fail the most, too. At the same time that Babe Ruth was setting
baseball’s home run record, he was also setting the strikeout record.
Nobody really cares about that, though. The idea is to slowly tip the
scale towards success.

Cheat ethically.

Those that have won before you are the ones that made the rules. There’s
no way for you to win unless you break them.

The rules that exist are designed so that you can’t win. That’s not
unfair or wrong, that’s just how life is. Someday, when you win by
breaking those rules, you’ll set up your own. Don’t be surprised when
someone new decides to break them. This is the cycle of life.

Find gratitude for what you have…

Everything you’ve achieved in life is a gift. You were either born
capable or born able to become capable.

Be thankful every day for what you have because tomorrow it could be
gone. No matter how little you own, remember that there is always
someone with less. Always make the best of your situation and find
gratitude not just for the things you have, but the things you’ve
achieved.

…But always strive for more.

Never give up your drive. Be grateful every day for what you have, but
never let an accomplishment stop you from pursuing another.

Life is meant to be enjoyed, but it’s also meant to be worked for.
Allowing yourself to be lazy is pleasing now, but in the long run you’ll
pay for it. If you ever get the idea to try something new, try it. If
you want to make something, make it. If you want to change something,
change it. If you don’t, you’ll eventually regret it.

Win passionately…

When you win, celebrate. Give yourself the time and opportunity to be
truly happy about what you’ve done.

Winning is hard work and you deserve to enjoy it when it happens. Spare
no expense in time or money because you never know when you’ll get to
again. Take pride in your achievement and show people how good it feels
to be on top.

…And lose graciously.

Also remember that no one can stay on top forever. Every winner
experiences a loss. Look at it as an opportunity to congratulate another
winner.

If you won every time, winning would be meaningless. Your achievements
wouldn’t matter because you’d have no competition. Be glad that you’re
surrounded by other amazing people competing for the same goal. Be happy
for them when they win. When you win again, it will actually matter.

Ignore your critics.

If you ever want to do anything interesting in your life, you’ll have to
accept the unfortunate fact that some people will be upset about it.
These will most likely be those that don’t lose graciously, set the
rules that you’re breaking, and have fallen into laziness and like the
way things already are.

Don’t pay attention to their heckling because if you do, eventually
you’ll end up just like them.

Leave a legacy.

Spend your time working on something timeless. Create things that people
can enjoy for eternity.

You will not be remembered for the things you consumed. Once you’re
gone, all that remains of you are the things you created, the ideas you
spread, and the way you made people feel. Make sure you’re building
something meaningful that will last.

Don’t listen to me.

This is the most important piece of all, so don’t forget it.

You could have been any number of millions of things, but you were lucky
enough to end up human. This means that you have the ability tothink
for
yourselfand
make decisions based on your own experiences. Don’t waste that. It’s
incredibly valuable.

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